I was diagnosed with Stage 3 rectal cancer in 2020 at the age of 33, just as Covid hit. I had no symptoms of cancer, or so I thought.

Perhaps in hindsight the abdominal pain I kept putting down to period pain, as most women do, was a symptom. I was constipated for a week and then started vomiting so I went to emergency. I was then taken via ambulance to a larger hospital where I was admitted.

They attempted to do a colonoscopy, but my tumour was large enough that they couldn’t do it. I was told it was Stage 3 and the next day I was having surgery to have a colostomy.

I think having the colostomy was one of the hardest parts mentally at the time.

I underwent 30 rounds of pelvic radiation as well as chemotherapy prior to having a lower anterior resection. After a 2-week hospital stay and a couple of months of recovery I then had a couple of months more chemotherapy. I was declared cancer free and returned to my ‘normal’ life.

I went back to work fulltime, I got married and celebrated every clear scan. I struggled a lot with my mental health which was something I wasn’t prepared for once my treatment ended. I finally started seeing a psychologist and began processing my trauma and grief.

I also applied for my ‘dream job’ and was successful! I gave my 2-week notice, in this time I also had my 6 months check up with my colorectal surgeon and my annual CT scan.

It was the first time I hadn’t been overly anxious about my scan; I had zero symptoms; my bloods were fine, and I was feeling good mentally as well. My surgeon then called me and told me that I had a lesion on my lung. The size and shape of it was concerning and she referred me for an urgent PET scan.

Whilst all of this is happening, I have had to call my new employer who I hadn’t even started with yet, to tell them that potentially my cancer had returned and in my first week I was asking for time off to go get scans and bloods done. I had to push my stress, anxiety and fears to the side as I was trying to learn a brand-new job at the same time.

I think I knew deep down that my cancer had returned because I wasn’t shocked when my surgeon told me the lesion was cancerous and I was now a Stage 4 cancer patient. I started radiation on the 21st of December and continued over Christmas having treatment.

I now must wait two months to have another CT scan to see if the radiation has done its job and kicked cancer’s butt or whether I need some follow up chemotherapy.

My life is forever different now in every possible way. I was still adjusting to life after my first cancer diagnosis, the early onset menopause at age 34, the massive scars on my body that I still cannot bring myself to look at properly, the change in bowel habits, weight changes and a myriad of other side effects and now I am facing the very real possibility of a lot more coming my way.

I am lucky to have the amazing support of my wife and family, I wouldn’t have got through the last few years without them. My wife learnt how to change my stoma before I did, I couldn’t bring myself to look at it let alone touch it, she has been phenomenal.

I’m sharing my story to show that anybody at any age can get this and to urge people to get regular check-ups. If something is unusual for you and your body, make an appointment with your GP.

Also, to show representation for young Queer people. When I first got diagnosed, I had nobody I could relate to. Nobody seemed to be like me, hadn’t gone through the same things previously that I had. I am hoping that even just one person reading my story might be encouraged to go get that niggling pelvic pain checked out, book in for that colonoscopy or at least know that bowel cancer isn’t just something older people get.

My one piece of advice for others:

Treat yourself with kindness when going through treatment. Don't compare your journey to someone else's.